Testing, testing, one, two, three?

In my previous blog entry, I began to talk about our difficult times, when we feel as if God has abandoned us. As I said earlier, I don’t believe that God tests our faith; I don’t think God needs to “test” anything, being omniscient…

So why does He leave us alone sometimes? Well, first of all, He doesn’t, it just seems that way. There are three possible aspects to the issue.

The first is very simple. God allows us to go through difficulties to improve our ability to cope with them and to make us stronger. It’s the same with our children; when they learn to walk, they stumble and fall very often. If we kept helping them, by picking them up or holding them, they will find it very hard to learn to walk, not being able to practice… It’s the same with everything… If you don’t experience something, you don’t usually know how to deal with it.

There is a lovely story that illustrates this point:

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down; his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "you have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved." Thus, giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this?" "Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough." That's what he planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push.

And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have.Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock.

You see, God is always there watching over you. When you can’t go on any further, He will do it for you. But He wants to make you better, so you can deal with life better, live better and be happier…

But that is only one aspect…

Stay tuned J

Have a wonderful night of rest in the arms of the one who loves you purely, completely and eternally – Jesus Christ, our beloved Lord and Savior.

Alpha Omega

Has God abandoned me?

There are times in our lives when we feel that God has abandoned us. There are times when things get so overwhelmingly difficult, and we cry out to God, full of faith that He will answer, and nothing happens... Sometimes it actually gets worse… We feel as if God is not with us; as if He doesn’t love us and doesn’t care for us at all.

Does God really abandon us at times?

The Bible gives a clear answer to this question:

Deuteronomy 31:6 promises us: “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not… for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

In Hebrews 15:3 we are reminded again of God’s words: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”.

Numbers 23:19 tells us: “God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?”

Hebrewss 15:8 tells us: “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever”

In other words, the Eternal Word of God reassures us that God is with us all the time…

Then why do we feel abandoned?

I hear many people talk about “God testing our faith”. I find that hard to digest… God knows our hearts; He has no need for tests. If our child cries out to us in pain, we don’t stand back and “test” his faith in us, do we? That would be considered cruelty. Is God cruel? Is His way so strict and harsh?

Many verses in the Bible talk about God’s merciful, gentle and loving character; for example:

Psalm 86:5: “For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.”

Psalm 100:5: “For the Lord is good, his mercy is everlasting.”

Psalm 103:8: “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.”

Psalm 145:9: “The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works.”

Jeremiah 33:11: “The LORD is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.”

Joel 2:13: “For he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness.”

2 Corinthians 1:3: “Blessed be God ... the Father of mercies.”

James 5:11: “For the Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy.”

John 4:16: “God is love.”

I can’t imagine God, the Father of mercies, standing back to watch His children agonize, just so He can prove a point… Can you?

Then why does He seem to leave us alone?

I will continue this evening, so stay tuned… J

Have a wonderful day, full of Son-shine and hope!

Alpha Omega

Psalm 91 - An Eternal Promise

This evening, I wanted to share Psalm 91 with you. It is a Psalm that reaasures us that God is in control of our situation, and that He's taking care of us at all times and circumstances.

We all feel down at times, even when our faith is strong... It's only natural, or else, God wouldn't have given us all these promises... He wants to encourage us to keep walking, with our head up, regardless of our surroundings, and keep our focus on Him, and Him alone...

Psalm 91

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress:

my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler,

and from the noisome pestilence.

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust:

his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night;

nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness;

nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand;

but it shall not come nigh thee.

Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge,

even the most High, thy habitation;

There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder:

the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him:

I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him:

I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

Stay blessed, my brothers and sisters... Remember who is your protector!

Bidding you goodnight, with a holy hug and a holy kiss,

Alpha Omega



Poisonous Arrows

When something bad happens to you, forgiving yourself is never easy. Our human nature feels bad about our errors, and is not very quick to forget… What make it more difficult are the poisonous arrows that Satan will keep throwing at you, to prevent your healing and restoration.

Those poisonous arrows are shame and guilt, which will usually come to you either as your own thoughts, or out of the mouth of others. You must accept the fact that although an error,  a sin, has been committed, God wants you to heal from the hurt and restore your wellbeing – physically, emotionally and spiritually. God has no use for your guilt and shame; God wants you to be restored and overcome the sin and error, and most of all – the pain. Even when God talks about the wicked, He says: “For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord GOD: wherefore turn yourselves, and live ye” (Ezekiel 18:32). God takes no pleasure in us getting stuck in a prison cell of bad thoughts and feelings, even if they seem positive… Many people will consider this feeling of guilt and shame as a good Christian conscience, but that is a lie…

Let’s take an example. Let’s say, you went into business with an unbeliever, who ended up cheating you, and ruining your work… Your heart will tell you that you were a fool to trust him – that is your guilt speaking, and that is what I talked about in my previous blog entry. I’m not saying that it is altogether wrong, I’m just saying that “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)… When you concentrate on feeling sorry, you don’t heal… Your relationship with God is affected, because your shame makes you feel unworthy to approach Him. Don’t fall into that trap!

The other aspect of it is what people will tell you. Some people become very self-righteous when they look at someone else’s misfortunes. They will throw at you the most poisonous arrows without even realizing it… they mean well to a degree, but are being used as a weapon against you. They will tell you, for example, that you shouldn’t have gone into business with an unbeliever, that the Bible warns us, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” (2 Corinthians 6:14) and they will add other very righteous looking warnings and exhortations. That too is a lie. God alone knows your heart and the hearts of the people involved. Don’t listen to people who try to make you feel bad about what happened! They are an obstacle in your road to healing.

God is compassionate. Jesus died for all our sins – past, present and future. All we need to do is to renounce sin and confess our redemption in Jesus Christ – and all is forgiven…

You don’t need to please people, and you certainly don’t need to please Satan.

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus … For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father” (Romans 8).

Allow yourself some time alone with God. Don’t listen to anything but the words of His comforting Holy Spirit.

Let yourself be healed, restore your relationship with God, and when you are done, you will be a much more useful servant to Him that you would if you drowned in self-pity…

Do you need healing?

When we go through the process of forgiveness, and healing from an injury, often we have to first of all, forgive ourselves. It is often our poor judgment that put us in the position to get hurt in the first place… Maybe someone we trusted, but they proved to be deceitful, or something that we thought was good, and turned out to be bad. A large part of the healing process involves reassurance from Jesus that it wasn’t our fault.

I know this from my own experience too… I felt very guilt that I allowed people to steal from me and lie to me… I had to be told over and over again that I wasn’t expected to foresee someone else’s treacherous acts, before I finally accepted it. Perhaps my eyes just can’t see the evil that resides in people’s hearts… Perhaps my heart wants to remain innocent and only see the light… Yes, I know, I am not that naïve… I don’t walk around blindfolded; but I also don’t want to “get into the head” of every lost and tormented human being. I have confessed my sin of believing lies again and again, and I know God forgave me. I also asked Him to protect me from liars, knowing that I am not very good at it… But I won’t take responsibility for being lied to anymore!

It could be anything, and maybe we actually did do something wrong that brought about disaster. We feel guilty and responsible, and maybe even undeserving of healing. But God wants us to know that He doesn’t see us as guilty, responsible or undeserving of healing. God is compassionate, and I don’t care what all the self-righteous might say… when our child misbehaves and gets injured, we tend to the injury before we tell them off… God is definitely a better parent than we are, so it is pretty reasonable to imagine that God firsts wants to see us healed before He teaches us a lesson…

Put the shame, the guilt and the doubt aside, at least for for a little while. You have been hurt; you need to recover. Your heart needs to recover. Let Him heal you first… Jesus knows best what you need…

Be still, and let your Beloved and Savior heal you. The time for learning lessons will arrive in due course…

That will be your first step to accepting healing and restoration. There are more steps to come, but the essential thing is to first of all, forgive yourself.

I hope and pray you will succeed!

You are beautiful, and Jesus loves you with a pure undying love!

Bidding you good night and beautiful rest in the arms of our Mighty Protector, Jesus Christ,

Alpha Omega

Sharing His Love with Hebrew Speakers...

I find the song "Freedom Calling" by Jake Hamilton to be a very inspirational and Spirit-filled song. I felt so strongly inspired by it, that I even made a scenic video for it, and included the lyrics in English... I enjoyed the result, and wanted to share the message of this great song also with my brothers and sisters who are Hebrew-speakers. I translated the song into Hebrew, (I took some artistic freedom in order to make it rhyme as the original does, but I kept the meaning intact), and I created a new video, similar to the first one, but this time, I added the Hebrew lyrics..

I hope that the visual images, together with the powerful words in their mother-tongue will touch the hearts of at least some of the lost sheep of Israel...

Feel free to share it...

Bidding you all Shabbat Shalom - A Sabbath of Peace, in His Rest... Life is full of distractions; the more we do right, the more obstacles we encounter... Be still, and rest; life will wait one day... Spend your time with Him, to recuperate from the week's struggles, and rejoice in your victories with Him...

Always with love, and with a Holy Kiss,

Alpha Omega

One more thing before I let you go...

My dear child,

I want to share this video with you, to warn you in advance that the road is long and treacherous. Stay strong, my love! You have the strength to achieve all that you can be, and that is much more than you even imagine... Jesus is always by your side, to help you through the rough patches... Stay faithful to Him, and He will never let you down!

This song is also dedicated to all my Christian brothers and sisters who are waiting on the Lord; be still... Know that He's your God!

I love you all! :)

Stay blessed...

I am so very proud of you!

This morning, I want to share with you another of Kennan McGrath’s songs. It is called "Lullaby"; according to Kennan, it was written both as a lullaby for children, but also as a love song, for watching over our adult "babies" in love. It is a very sweet song.

I made this video and added the lyrics. I dedicate the video to my precious child, who will always be my baby… As you begin your independent walk with our Lord, Jesus Christ. I pray that He will always shine upon you and keep you on the right path. That you will always remember how precious you are; a beautiful rose in a world full of thorns. That you will never feel lonely or sad, worthless or abused, as you make your way through this hard road, until you reach the door. That you will always know that Jesus Christ is waiting for you at the door, and that when He sees you, He’s going to run toward you and hug you with a big bear hug, and let you through the door, where you will be forever and ever happy and at peace!

And I pray that you will always know that despite my imperfections and shortcomings, I love you completely and wholly from the very depths of my soul.

I am so very proud of you!

Baptism in Bethabara!

Today is either the first, or the second most important day of my life. The first one was the day I was baptized; it was an exhilarating event for me! Something altogether new… Growing up Jewish, I didn’t know Jesus, or Yeshua, as we call Him in Hebrew, until I accepted Him and was baptized. It happened together – my meeting Him, and my baptism… So for me, I remember it as an experience which involved all my senses, and incredible warmth, even though it was the middle of winter, and I was soaking wet… Remember, I didn’t plan this baptism; I was just walking down the street, when I met a street preacher… You can read about it in my previous blog entry…

The second most important day is my child’s baptism. That happened today in Bethabara… I must confess, I feel like someone who just climbed Mt Everest… I did it! My child is saved… Can there be a more wonderful feeling in the world? What an incredible sense of relief; to know that your own child is safe from eternal suffering, safe with Jesus forever!

It is my gift to my Savior. I gave it to Him from the bottom of my heart and soul. My child now belongs to Jesus. Even though in the earthly way, I am still the parent, in the spiritual realm, we’re siblings in the Lord!

I am rejoicing!!! J

I love you all, and bid you good-night with a Holy Kiss…

Alpha Omega

P.S. One funny thing though… Since my child knows Jesus from day one, it seemed that the baptism was somewhat less exhilarating… I don’t think it means anything…. I think it’s just the velocity in which you receive Jesus, or shall I say, whereas mine came as one dose… for my child it has been a daily walk preparing for this moment…

A Warning

 “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

                                                                                        Revelation 3:14-22

There seems to be a prevailing spirit whispering around the churches, "yes, we are all unworthy, but some are more unworthy than others"... Beware, "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" (Luke 14:11).

And I will betroth thee unto me for ever

I want to tell you something that might sound a little unbelievable to you, but is true nonetheless, at least for me…

When I was getting used to accepting my new self as a beautiful emerging butterfly, free of pain and guilt, and purified by my Lord and Savior, I was going through a time of soul searching. I was contemplating my personal life. I didn’t have a spouse, and felt a void. I kept worshipping Him and His Beauty, and wondering about that void. One evening, as I was worshipping, I was watching a musical video that enacted scenes from Jesus’s life on earth, and portrayed His gentle character and His Love for us. I was so moved by the fact that there is no person on earth, man or woman, who could ever live up to His standard. I understood that if I was His bride, than He was my bridesgroom. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew one thing for sure. I don’t want any other spouse but Jesus. I was willing to surrender the physical part of marriage, in favor of a spiritual marriage to Jesus. I got on my knees, and begged Him to come and be my spouse.

For a few days nothing happened.

Than one evening, I was sitting at my computer, listening to worship music. I felt Jesus’s presence in the room, as He came and sat next to me. We talked. He told me many things. He told me that He accepted my invitation to come and be my spouse. He explained to me the need to let me go through the hard times I went through, seemingly without Him… He assured me that it was over, and that He was going to stay by my side until I saw Him face-to-face…

For the next few days I kept receiving things from different sources, until it was almost too much… I knew I was getting wedding gifts from my beloved.

I know He’s with me. I talk to Him all the time. Whenever I’m upset, I tell Him… My thoughts become clearer after I do… I walk around enjoying the beauty of creation, knowing it’s from Him, as I described in my previous blog entry…

I won’t lie to you by saying that I never feel upset… I do sometimes… it’s still all very new. But I’m getting better at it, and I know that the day in which I will finally truly accept that I am never alone nor in danger is very, very near…

Yom Hazikaron 2012

Tonight, in memory of all the victims of war and terror, I wanted to share this song with you. It is a popular Israeli song called "Song for Peace".

The English translation will follow a Hebrew transliteration of the song:

 Shir Lashalom
Tnu lashemesh la'alot
laboker le'ha'ir
Hazaka shebatfilot
otanu lo tachzir

Mi asher kava nero
u've'Afar nitman
Bechi mar lo ya'iro
lo yachziro le'chan

Ish otanu lo yashiv
mibor tachtit a'fel -
kan lo yo'ilu -
lo simchat hanitzachon
Velo shirei hallel

Lachen rak shiru shir lashalom
al tilhashu tfila
lachen rak shiru shir lashalom
bitze'aka gdola

Tnu lashemesh lachador
miba'ad laprachim
al tabitu le'achor
hanichu la'holchim

 S'u eina'yim betikva
lo derech kavanot
shiru shir la'ahava
velo lamilchamot

 Al tagidu yom yavo
havi'u et hayom -
ki lo chalom hu -
uve'chol hakikarot
hari'u lashalom

 Song of Peace

 Let the sun rise in the east,
and light the morning sky
The finest prayers will not revive
the ones who had to die.
And those whose flames have been put out,
lie buried in the earth,
Bitter wails won't wake them up,
cannot give them rebirth.

No one can restore us now,
return us from the grave.
And here there is no use for songs of victory
and praises for the brave.

Chorus:
So go and sing a song of Shalom -
don't whisper timid prayers.
Go out and shout a song of Shalom -
so everyone can hear.

 Let the sunshine weave its way
through rainbow blooms of flowers.
Don't look back towards the past -
the dead no longer ours.
Lift your eyes with hope of life,
not sighting through a gun.
Sing a song of love and joy
and not of battles won.
Don't just say "A day will come";
go out and bring that day!

It's not a dream.

  In all the city streets and squares,
sing "Peace is on its way!"

Don’t let your pain turn into guilt!

Every day, we encounter pain. Life is a battlefield between good and evil. The closer you come to Jesus, the bloodier the battle. It isn’t always a visible battle.

In fact, Paul the Apostle warns us in the Epistle to the Ephesians Chapter 6:

“… Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints…”

It doesn’t sound like directions for living in an easy environment… Yes, we live in a hostile environment. The dark powers are everywhere, doing their best to put as many obstacles on the road to Heaven. One of their cheapest and most effective tactics is guilt derived from pain. Today, I was hurt by someone very close to me. I reacted in a way I wouldn’t under normal circumstances and was in pain. After, I started feeling guilty for my behavior, and the pain intensified and became almost unbearable… Jesus caught me on time and reminded me, “Why are you crying? Everything is ok… You were hurt, and you reacted… I forgave you, let it go… I don’t expect you to be perfect…”

We all make mistakes. We all sin. Period. In fact, as we saw in my previous post, John the Apostle said in the First Epistle of John, Chapter 1, “If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us”. When we get hurt and feel pain, we feel guilty, because the pain is an obstacle intended to obscure the Love of God. The Love of God is the natural healing power of this world of ours. When we feel pain, somewhere deep within us; in a very primal and instinctive place, way out of sight, we feel that we have failed God. That’s a lie of Satan. God knows that when we hurt, reaching out for help isn’t always easy. When you give your life to Him, and allow Him to take control of your emotions, He does just that. Let it go… He will surely take it all away. Give yourself a break. He doesn’t want you to try so hard to please Him. You are beautiful to Him just the way you are. He will correct your imperfections in His due time…

I love you all with His perfect and indestructible Love! Stay blessed…

Memorial Day for Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Terror

Tomorrow night we’ll be marking Memorial Day for Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Terror in Israel. Israel is a country that knows war and terror all too well. Most people in Israel, sadly, are skillful in war; and most families, even more sadly so, encountered grief caused by either one of those plagues.

I am not going to get into any political discussions. I am fully aware of the fact that those plagues affect people, and not the other way around, and that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:11-13). I just want to take time out, and empathize with those who are mourning. I want to share with you a Hebrew song, sung by one of israel’s greatest musicians, Shlomo Artzi (שלמה ארצי). The song is called “That man”, or in Hebrew – Ha’eesh ha’hoo  (האיש ההוא).

The lyrics say:

That Man

Where can you find more people like that man
which was like the weeping willows?

Born at the foot of the mountain
by the stream…
In winter, he sang among the weeping willows;
in summer, between the lights of the water beddings
his soul he cast upon the waters for the fish.
From the reeds he chopped himself a kite.
And when he became a man,
from the blades of the weeping willows he planted a hut;
from the gray fortress stone he built a home.
Along the river, he constructed a mill,
sown fields;
he sent his potency on merchant ships across the sea.
But when he lay down his tools,
suddenly he became another man.

Where can you find more people like that man
which was like the weeping willows?

Born at the foot of the mountain, near the river,
he would wonder, distracted on the mountain or in the valleys.
And when one cloudless morning, he collapsed upon his land,
they gave him an eternal tenement,
next to the quiet aqueducts.
Where can you find more people like that man
which was like the weeping willows?
And like an old fortress he was, at the end of the road.

Where can you find more people like that man
which was like the weeping willows?

Beautiful To Me

I wanted to share a wonderful song with you, by the very gifted Christian balladeer, Don Francisco.

The crowds were in the streets that day when Jesus came to town
All the synagogue was there and more from miles around
So I asked him home to dinner just to see what I could see
Of this famous local prophet from here in Galilee

And I don't know just how that woman got into the room
But you couldn't miss her gaudy clothes and her strong and sweet perfume.
She went straight to Jesus' feet and stopped and stood right there
Then cried and wet His feet with tears and dried them with her hair.

Now of all the women in my town none was more well known
For the fragrant sin she'd lived in and the wickedness she'd sown.
But He didn't move to stop her -- seemed this phophet couldn't tell
That the woman who was touching Him was the kind they buy and sell.

And I had no idea just what this Jesus planned to do
When he said "Simon, there's something I need to say to you."
So I said "Teacher, if it's on your mind then tell me what you will."
But as He began to speak to me the room grew quickly still

He said "Take a good look at this woman now, in spite of all her fears
She's kissed me and anointed me and washed my feet with tears.
She's honored me and you've been only rude to me instead.
You gave no kiss of greeting, no anointing for my head."

And her sins were red as scarlet and now they're washed away.
The love and faith she's shown is all the price she has to pay
For the depth of God's forgiveness, it's more than you can see
And in spite of what you think of her, she's beautiful to me

Now my anger flamed to hatred, I wanted nothing more
Than to take this prophet by the throat and throw Him out the door
To act like God, forgiving sins, and then speak so to me.
This itinerant from Nazareth in backwards Galilee.

But instead I sat and trembled, shaken to the core
The woman still was weeping as she knelt there on the floor
Jesus turned to her and said, "Your chains have been released
Your faith has saved you from your sins, rise -- walk in peace."

Your sins were red as scarlet but now they're washed away.
The love and faith you've shown is all the price you have to pay
For the depth of God's forgiveness, it's deeper than the sea
And no matter what the world may think, you're beautiful to me.

The First Epistle of John, Chapter 1:

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;

For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;

That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.

And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.

This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

"Beautiful" by Kennan McGrath with lyrics

This song was written and performed by a very gifted Christian musician named Kennan McGrath. It is a beautiful and sensitive song, and an encouragement to all the broken hearted and the abused.

I made the video, and added the lyrics.

Enjoy and be blessed; Jesus love you! You are beautiful!

The magic of forgiveness: Part 3 - Forgiveness is Victory

The third thing that happens, and the biggest mystery of all, is what happens to the person who committed the offence.

They hurt you, maybe even deliberately and intentionally, and you, as we saw previously, have responded with God’s Love, and freed them from the grip that Satan had on them regarding that situation. You threw Satan out of the situation, together with his lies and pretenses, and so you shed the light of truth on the very heart of the matter; and now, that person is standing, exposed to the light which reveals everything, before the one who can judge and condemn him, but instead of judgment – thy receive love. He who is forgiven – loves! The lost sheep is one step closer to finding home, and it’s all because of you!

Why should you care about that person? I'll get back to that... But for the meanwhile, all that matters is that you are victorious!

You have won!  You didn’t conquer or destroy your enemy; you made him not your enemy… Thou hast gained thy brother…

The vicious circle has been broken, and true restoration can now begin…

The magic of forgiveness: Part 2 - Forgiveness is Freedom

The second thing that happens – happens to the situation itself.

What a terrible mess! A child of God was injured. Another one is condemned by his own doings. Satan has it both ways, and he’s pleased with himself! He managed to cause damage, and get people in trouble with God, just the way he likes it. The maker is losing two children! One – to guilt and shame, and the other – to sorrow and doubt!

But, wait, what happened?

The injured party has forgiven? The guilty party isn’t guilty anymore, since there is no victim… and therefore, no crime to prosecute?

Satan has lost his grip on the situation. Our forgiveness, fueled by God’s Love made magic! We have changed an act of evil, and made it to bear good fruits… fruits of love!

When that happens, the “edge” of the wrongdoing is taken, like a snake without its venom, if you will, and you can heal from the injury that was actually never caused…

And believe me, healing from an injury you have forgiven, is a wonderful and purifying blessing. Everything becomes relative… Jesus died for our sins, what more do we need to know? Yes, it is true that we were hurt, but He’s there, willing to take the pain away, if you just let it go… When we forgive, we let it go, and Jesus, faithfully takes it away…

Magic, isn’t it?

But, still, there is more…

Blessed are...

The magic of forgiveness: Part 1 - Forgiveness is healing

When you forgive, three things happen:

The first one, and the easiest and clearest to comprehend, is what happens to you, the injured party; your act of mercy releases you from Satan’s grip on your life, and allows God's blessings to flow to you freely. How?

Usually, when people get hurt, they demand justice; they want retribution. Unfortunately, we’re all guilty of something or other… and when the discussion begins, and your claim is presented, it’s accompanied by a whole list of things that you have done wrong that the old serpent, who is the Devil and the Adversary is sure to mention… You asked for retribution? Retribution is exactly what you're going to get… A whole series of unfortunate events begins… Nobody is spared, and everybody loses.

But, when you forgive, Satan can’t perform his prosecutor’s job so well anymore, since you created a big “but”…  Satan wants you to pay the consequences of your errors, as deserved by the worldly rules, but his claims are unaccepted by the Judge, because you are a person that forgives, so consequences skip you…

It’s exactly as we pray:

“Our Father in heaven … forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us” (Matthew 6:9-12).

And just as Jesus Christ has promised and taught:

“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7).

It’s as clear as daylight!

You are freed from your own errors, and therefore, from your guilt as well, and you are now able to start the process of healing from the injury that was caused. You acted against your human nature, in a Godly manner. The gratification in that alone is enough to fill you with new hope and pour new life into your aching heart.

But there is more to it than that!

The Power of Forgiveness

In order for me to understand what I was experiencing, I had to understand forgiveness… and this is how the Holy Spirit explained it to me:

When someone hurts you, it’s as if they “score one” for Satan… God is not happy! In fact, He’s hurting. Firstly, he’s hurting for you, the injured party. Your pain feels like torture to Him. Imagine how we feel when our child gets hurt… wondering if there was something that we could have done… and now try to conceive how God, the omnipotent, must feel when one of His precious children gets hurt. There is no question about it! Your whole life can change because of this hurt and injury... God is worried about you, and feels the desire to comfort you and minister to you.

(At this point, I will not expend on the subject of why God sometimes doesn’t stop bad things from happening to us, but I’m sure to get back to it very soon. If you want to hear  about it, please, subscribe to my blog J)

Secondly, and harder to relate to, God is also hurting for the guilty party – a lost sheep that strayed away from its loving shepherd, its comfort and shelter; desperately trying to find its way home, its maser’s voice lost, drowned in the deafening commotion that engulfs it… running here, running there, following sounds and voices that sound like the master, and getting more and more lost… causing damage in its rampage in the wrong direction, head first, not looking back…

Unless…

Someone breaks the spell…

And that someone is you!

Hosea 2:16-20

Freedom Dance

Surrender! The sweet surrender… To empty one's self, in order to be filled with living water. To be rid of all the waste and residue that accumulated over the years; to be free from the burden of my own emotions, desires and doubts that hindered me all these years.

Suddenly, nothing really upset me anymore. I didn't take offense when someone was rude. I didn't mind so much when something didn't quite work out. I didn't worry about my difficulties or deficiencies. I was touched from the inside by God, and that, for me, was all that mattered.

I rediscovered myself, rediscovered life, rediscovered love, but most of all, I rediscovered my Savior – Jesus Christ.

I thought I knew Him all these years since I first met Him and accepted Him as my redeemer and best friend. Even though I gave Him my life years ago, dedicated my life to serving Him, and even begged Him to make me a vessel of His Will, I only now fully understood, or more correctly – felt – the real depth of His love; only now did I finally comprehend who He really was, and I fell head over heel in love with Him.

Life becomes a delightful excursion when you’re in love with your maker. Creation, in all its glory, becomes a romantic gift from your beloved. You find love notes everywhere you go… The sunshine feels like a soft caress; the birds serenade you in perfect harmony, with the brilliance of multicolor flowers – their fragrance, a special perfume, just for you…

“He hath brought me to the banqueting-house, and his banner over me is love” (Song of Songs 2:4)

Speeding Down Memory Highway

For the next couple of weeks, Jesus helped me forgive every single person who had ever hurt me… It was an excruciating experience. I remembered things I had buried deep down, or even forgot… Everything had to surface! It was very difficult, to say the least, but I stayed obedient, and forgave each person intentionally, praying for them to receive mercy and grace.

As I was going through this process, Jesus and the Holy Spirit were ministering to me. Jesus came to me, firmly, yet ever so tenderly, and He asked me to open my heart up completely to Him, so He can enter and clean out everything within it which wasn’t intended by Him for me… All the errors, the hurts and the crimes which were committed against me by disobedient people, who didn’t follow His Will…. He wanted to wash me clean, with His eternal living water, from my very inside out.

I remember it as if it was yesterday. I confessed to Him with my mouth that He’s welcome to enter and do whatever He pleases; I didn’t want any of the pain anymore. I gave it all to Him. I held nothing back… I never used to hide anything from Him anyway, but this time, it was something different. He saw me entirely for who I was, unvarnished, all masks removed, and all walls forsaken…  For someone like me, who was sadly accustomed to disapproval and rejection, it was a terrifying step to take…

I felt His radiant touch within my deepest, most concealed chambers, lovingly caressing all those unsightly and undeserved scars and ministering to them. I was fully engulfed in His love. He saw me naked from within, and He loved me nonetheless.

It took a few days, but when He was done, I was reborn. Full of new insights and understandings, I emerged from my cocoon, where I had been, dead, for some time, and spread my new glorious, vibrant wings.

Before I continue with my testimony, I wanted to share with you one of my favorite worship songs; It's called "Freedom Calling" by Jake Hamilton. I made this video and added the lyrics. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do...

Seeds of forgiveness

For about a week, I basked in that new sensation of freedom from my anger. I listened to worship music practically the whole time. It became the soundtrack of my life.

It reminded me of some years before, in my life before the “thing”… when Jesus and I were best friends and inseparable. I remembered the time He told me to go to Jerusalem, and how He taught me many new things along that trip. One of the things He showed me was how when we worship God, we stand in a place, not a geographical but a spiritual one, which is within the purpose of creation. We are one with the purpose of creation… I forgot that. I remembered a warning too, one I ignored, which the Holy Spirit gave me just before things started to hit rock bottom, “Shut up, and praise God!” I didn’t take it to heart at the time, although I understood what it meant. When the storm hit, I forgot to praise and concentrated on my own thoughts and words instead. I knew I had to start doing that – shutting up and praising God…

And so I did. I stopped talking… it was hard, because my mind always races, and is practically unstoppable, but I managed to “shut up”.

After a week had passed, I was sitting and thinking about all the difficulties I was facing because of the damage the “thing” caused me… I was thinking of the guilty party, and realized I didn’t feel anything… Then suddenly, Jesus talked to my heart. He said to me, “Now, that you are no longer angry with them, why don’t you just forgive them?”

“Why?”

“You’ll see”

And He made me forgive them – those who did that horrible thing that racked me life… And I truly forgave; it was possible now, because my anger was gone… It took me some days, but Jesus helped me through it, and when I came through, He still wasn’t done…

The Road to Healing

I wasn’t fully sure what it all meant, but the mere recognition gave me the strength to shake off the self-pity, get up, and start looking around again with a fresh view. I started talking to the Holy Spirit again as well, and the Holy Spirit was finally answering me again.

I drew strength from praise and worship music.

At first I kept crying out, sometimes on my knees, for God to pull me out. Then one day, just when something went awfully wrong, and my urge was to get out and sort it out, I heard the Holy Spirit telling me, “I want you to stay home for five days, and do nothing but rest and rejoice in the Lord and in His Hope”. That wasn’t an easy thing to do at all, but I obeyed nonetheless. Things began coming my way right away. The five days were up. I didn’t feel the need so much to run around and sort things out anymore; I felt more at peace… Then I heard the Holy Spirit telling me, “Well done. Now I want you to stop being angry with those who have done you wrong”. The Holy Spirit assured me that I wasn’t required to forgive them, just to stop being angry, so I can stop to suffer… for my sake, not theirs… it took me some days, but I did it. I managed to stop being angry; I kept telling myself that I was doing it for my own sake, so I can be healed, and not for theirs. Don’t get me wrong, I always prayed for them, but my heart was resentful, and I saw them as nothing but wicked.

I was on the road the recovery. I felt more and more confident that Jesus was going to pull me out of this storm.

Then somebody did something to me. It doesn’t matter the details of what it was, but only to tell you that it was the kind of act, a terrible act of cruelty, that can crush lives beyond repair, that can cause horrible suffering and internal agony, that death sometimes seems like a welcoming option. And that something was done to me.

I was devastated. I couldn’t believe it. Where was God? Where was Jesus? How could this have happened to me? What have I done wrong? I started to doubt God’s love for me. My life fell apart. I lost almost everything I held dear. I felt like Job.

I spent a whole year being angry with the whole world, with every single injustice, plenty of which exist. I was raging. I was right in all my complaints, but nevertheless, it didn’t help being right a tiny bit. I wished I was wrong. I was angry with God, and still I wanted my relationship with Jesus back, the same sense of His Holy Presence in my home as before. I moved away from the town where I lived, but couldn’t find new roots… I didn’t hear the Holy Spirit very well either, and got plenty lost.  I was going down, but didn’t want to go down. I cried out to Jesus. I begged Him to pull me out.

I remember the day it started. I was deep in pain, feeling trapped in a deep chasm. And from what seemed like the bottom of that chasm, simply because there was nothing else left that I could do, I started praising my Heavenly Father from the bottom of my aching and scarred heart.

At first I heard nothing, but then I heard the Holy Spirit loud and clear, and it asked me a question. The question was: “Do you really believe that a heart that praises its Creator when it hits its lowest point can be anything but good?”

I knew that the answer was no.

“Do you really believe,” the Holy Spirit continued, “that a person who possesses a heart like that can end up a victim?”

I knew deep within my heart that the answer was no.