Seeds of forgiveness

For about a week, I basked in that new sensation of freedom from my anger. I listened to worship music practically the whole time. It became the soundtrack of my life.

It reminded me of some years before, in my life before the “thing”… when Jesus and I were best friends and inseparable. I remembered the time He told me to go to Jerusalem, and how He taught me many new things along that trip. One of the things He showed me was how when we worship God, we stand in a place, not a geographical but a spiritual one, which is within the purpose of creation. We are one with the purpose of creation… I forgot that. I remembered a warning too, one I ignored, which the Holy Spirit gave me just before things started to hit rock bottom, “Shut up, and praise God!” I didn’t take it to heart at the time, although I understood what it meant. When the storm hit, I forgot to praise and concentrated on my own thoughts and words instead. I knew I had to start doing that – shutting up and praising God…

And so I did. I stopped talking… it was hard, because my mind always races, and is practically unstoppable, but I managed to “shut up”.

After a week had passed, I was sitting and thinking about all the difficulties I was facing because of the damage the “thing” caused me… I was thinking of the guilty party, and realized I didn’t feel anything… Then suddenly, Jesus talked to my heart. He said to me, “Now, that you are no longer angry with them, why don’t you just forgive them?”

“Why?”

“You’ll see”

And He made me forgive them – those who did that horrible thing that racked me life… And I truly forgave; it was possible now, because my anger was gone… It took me some days, but Jesus helped me through it, and when I came through, He still wasn’t done…