It's been a long time

It's been a long time, almost two years, since I last added an entry to this my blog. In my last entries, I told you about the book I was writing. The book is now complete, although it has not been published yet. In fact, it took me three months of intense writing, and approximately 300 pages to complete it, but it seems that just in that short time, enough happened to fill a new book.

Things around me got more and more intense, as if some war was raging around me, and I was somehow a target. I had to move away from my home, yet again, into a very poor neighborhood in the south of Tel Aviv, where mostly refugees, foreigners, drug addicts and all the other destitute and lost reside.

It is a very long story, but the bottom line of it was that the same people who caused me great harm before, the people I trusted and served for about a decade whom then betrayed me, causing me to become destitute myself, had done it again, or rather, continued their evil actions which terribly hurt me before. I lost everything again, and found myself in a very tight and difficult situation.

If you read the first entries of my blog, you will see the hard road I had to take to forgive them. How Jesus helped me and healed me. How I forgave them and laid it all at His feet. But now I found myself facing the same people, who were laboring so hard, for some obscure reason, to destroy my life; people who were my best friends before.

And it seemed as if they were succeeding, I was now poor, rejected, scorned, falsely accused and most of all - incredibly lonely. All my friends turned their backs on me, I had no family to support me, and I remained alone, caring by myself for three young children.

It has been a year now since we had moved here, to the poorest, dirtiest, saddest and most neglected place in Israel. I find myself shedding tears of pain more often than not.

I do indeed feel like Job very often, and so I read the book of Job and found great encouragement in it, which I hope to share with you in the coming days.

I talk to God a lot, I talk to my Pappy in heaven, I talk to Jesus, and I talk to the Holy Spirit. I am in great need of their constant company, and seek it all the time.

I would not have survived without my God.

I confess that at times money appears in my purse as if out of nowhere, when there is nothing left at all.

When I cry out, God answers me, and makes me strong, even if just for a little bit longer...

Yesterday, for instance, I was crying, feeling sorry for myself. I was looking out of my window, seeing the filth and the neglect, and I felt like a piece of trash thrown to the garbage. "God, why did they throw me away like that?" I cried out from the bottom of my heart, remembering all that was.

"The stone that the builders rejected has now become the corner stone," I heard God's reassuring voice answering me.

"I have no home, Pappy," I sobbed.

"The foxes have their holes, and the birds have their nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head," was the answer.

I understood.

"I was so fruitful before all this happened, spreading the Good News, and now, after, I have lost it all. I have lost the war, and it seems that Satan hates me for it, and does all he can to destroy me," I said to God, thinking of all the intense hostility I was suffering, which seemed to never cease.

"That is not true," I heard Jesus answer clearly. "Satan doesn't hate you because you lost, nobody hates losers - they may feel sorry for them, or even scorn them, but what reason does someone have to hate a loser? If they hate someone, it is the winner. Satan doesn't hate you because you lost, he hates me because I won. He hates you because you are mine."

I know times are incredibly hard. I live day by day, just as Jesus told us to do. I do not have all the answers, and hope to find them together with you.

Stay blessed, and stay tuned,

Alpha Omega

An Apology

Writing a book is not what I thought it would be. I thought you begin in the beginning, and write your way to the end, but it is not so; it is rather like assembling a jigsaw puzzle. You get to a point, and suddely remember things that happened earlier. I have added a lot stuff to my first chapter. I realized that I couldn't share with you bits every day, if I keep adding...

 

I didn't post anything yesterday, even though I promised I would, as I didn't know what to do. Please forgive a broken promise. I really meant to keep it.

 

Also, my mind is absorbed in the book I am writing, and so I decided I needed to take o few days off, just to write. I prmise to share it with you as soon as I stop adding :)

 

Forgive me!

 

Stay blessed, and stay tuned,

 

Alpha Omega

My childhood where thinking was prohibited

Growing up in an Orthodox Jewish home - cont.

From that day on, I read every book around the house. I began with the children's books, but was soon done with those, as they didn't contain much text, and so I turned to the rest of the books around the house. I devoured every piece of paper like a starving wolf. My home didn't contain many books, beside religious books and medical guides, so after learning all there was to know about the rabbinical laws and all the possible illnesses the human body can experience as well as the common treatments, I turned to the local library.

 

Although thinking was frowned upon, my parents, unaware of the danger it held to their way of thinking (Possibly because both of them were in their early twenties, and too young to understand), gave me permission to read all the books in the library. Mind you, it was a religious library, so the selection of books was indeed limited.

 

In the meanwhile, my eyes grew wider, and so did my mind. But I was not satisfied!

 

"Clear the table please, and wash the dishes!" I remember my mother commanding. We had just finished our dinner. My father, who was hardly ever around because he worked long hours at his office, retired to his armchair to read the local newspaper, and my brothers ran to play. I was left to clean up after them, while they seemed to ignore my very existence. I felt humiliated, but did what I was told.

 

My mother was not very close to me; mostly because she didn't have the time to give me proper attention. She cleaned the house obsessively, making sure everything was always tidy and spotless; probably because it was my father's idea, and so hers, that this was the meaning of being a good housewife.

 

She was always in the kitchen too, cooking something. She began preparations for the Sabbath on Thursday already... 

 

Stay blessed, and stay tuned,

Alpha Omega

Growing up in an Orthodox Jewish home

Yesterday I negan to write my life story, and my testimony. I decided to do it after i clearly heard the instructions to start writing down what happened to me, and what my eyes have seen. I am doing it for His glory, and know, that in the last chapter, no matter what the story is, Jesus comes back in glory.

I am not going to name my book yet. But I will start telling my story, and sharing some with you each day.

Growing up in an Orthodox Jewish home

Big eyes; I always had big eyes. I swallowed the world with my eyes ever since I can remember… I needed to see everything and know everything. I was a very curious child and a very clever one as well. I never accepted things as they seemed, and always looked for what was lying underneath.

Life in the Orthodox Jewish world raises many questions, which most people suppress. But I didn’t know how to suppress. Knowledge is a curse, so I was told; or as the headmistress at my school put it, "Who thinks? Horses think…" I didn't mind being a horse; in fact, I thought horses were glorious. I envied their freedom to roam free in the open fields, while I felt chained to a seat at a dreary classroom, with a stern looking teacher; and so, I thought…

Unfortunately for my parents, although they didn't know it at the time, I learned to read when I was three years of age. My mother used to read me nursery rhymes from a book, and apparently, my mind interpreted the strange symbols and recognized them as letters. I remember the day my mother found out I could read…

We were waiting outside the post office. It was me and my older brother, who is 10 months older than I. My mother was inside, getting a package containing a book she had just won in some radio competition. She came out, and handed us the book, because she needed to tend to my newborn brother. My older brother and I were very excited. We had never won anything before. We tore up the paper wrapping, and looked at the shiny new book. "Look, Mommy," I exclaimed, "It says, Tom Sawyer detective…" My mother froze, and glared into my innocent three year old eyes. "What did you say?" She asked, puzzled. I repeated patiently, "It says, Tom Sawyer detective…" My mother was shocked. She opened the book and asked me to read it; and so I did.

From that day on, I read every book around the house...

Stay blessed, and stay tuned,

Alpha Omega

Glorious liberty

Romans 8

 

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

 

For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

 

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

 

For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

 

Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

 

But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

 

But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

 

Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

 

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

 

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

 

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

 

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

 

For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

 

For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.

 

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?

 

But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

 

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

 

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

 

For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

 

Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

 

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

 

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

 

Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.

 

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

 

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

 

As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

 

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

 

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

 

 

Stay blessed, and stay tuned,

 

Alpha Omega

I will be still and know You are God

I must confess; I'm going through a very difficult period of persecution. I find it very hard even to keep this blog. But I will not surrender! I know I have shared this song with you before, but I'm going to share it again... It is so very encouraging for me, and I hope it is too for you...

 

 

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

 

Stay blessed, in these troubled times, and stay tuned; because hope is right here, in Jesus Christ alone... Although you may be suffering, as I do, fail not; for Jesus is near... Listen to his footsteps... He is coming for you soon; and when he does, you will know pain no more...

 

 

Alpha Omega

 

BTW, if you wish to support my ministry, please get in touch. I'm not very good at raising funds; so feel free to suggest... God bless you! Humbly, me.



He's alive!

This song fills me with hope and joy every time I listen to it:

 

 



 

He's alive / Don Francisco

 

The gates and doors were barred
And all the windows fastened down
I spent the night in sleeplessness
And rose at every sound
Half in hopeless sorrow
And half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breakin' through
To drag us all away

And just before the sunrise
I heard something at the wall
The gate began to rattle
And a voice began to call
I hurried to the window
Looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches
And the sound of soldiers' feet

But there was no one there but Mary
So I went down to let her in
John stood there beside me
As she told me where she'd been
She said they might have moved Him in the night
And none of us knows where
The stone's been rolled away
And now His body isn't there

We both ran toward the garden
Then John ran on ahead
We found the stone and empty tomb
Just the way that Mary said
But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in
Was just an empty shell
And how or where they'd taken Him
Was more than I could tell

Oh something strange had happened there
Just what I did not know
John believed a miracle
But I just turned to go
Circumstance and speculation
Couldn't lift me very high
'Cause I'd seen them crucify him
Then I saw him die

Back inside the house again
The guilt and anguish came
Everything I'd promised Him
Just added to my shame
When at last it came to choices
I denied I knew His name
And even if He was alive
It wouldn't be the same

But suddenly the air was filled
With a strange and sweet perfume
Light that came from everywhere
Drove the shadows from the room
And Jesus stood before me
With his arms held open wide
And I fell down on my knees
And I just clung to Him and cried

Then He raised me to my feet
And as I looked into His eyes
The love was shining out from Him
Like sunlight from the skies
Guilt in my confusion
Disappeared in sweet release
And every fear I'd ever had
Just melted into peace

He's alive yes He's alive
Yes He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive yes He's alive
Oh He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive yes He's alive
Hallelujah He's alive
He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive He's alive He's alive
I believe it He's alive
Sweet Jesus

Stay blessed, and stay tuned,

 

Alpha Omega